Light

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T'Shilah

Light

Post by T'Shilah » Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:53 pm

The last couple of days I've been getting flashes of a beautiful deep blue light. I'm not sure what Indigo is but if it's what I think it is, then it is definitely indigo. It's like the beautiful blue in the Templars glass. I'm beginning to see it surrounding some things and it always surprises me but it feels so natural.

I'm seeing more white light as well, on the inner. It's like my whole world has shifted and suddenly I am more in tune. I'm picking up on energy from distances and know what is causing it. Particularly when it has to do with Dave.

This is where I need to focus more on the Creator love and light so some things won't upset me so much I can't face what causes them to happen with love and light.

Could use some input here.

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Re: Light

Post by LoneBear » Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:36 am

T'Shilah wrote:The last couple of days I've been getting flashes of a beautiful deep blue light. I'm not sure what Indigo is but if it's what I think it is, then it is definitely indigo. It's like the beautiful blue in the Templars glass. I'm beginning to see it surrounding some things and it always surprises me but it feels so natural.
The deep, blue light is symbolic of "Honor". Perhaps it is an acknowledgement that you are now starting to honor who you are, and respect other for whom they are?
T'Shilah wrote:I'm seeing more white light as well, on the inner. It's like my whole world has shifted and suddenly I am more in tune. I'm picking up on energy from distances and know what is causing it. Particularly when it has to do with Dave.
Welcome to my world. I know it's fun now, but be warned, it CAN overwhelm you to the point where you cannot distinguish what is yours, from what is other. Make it a habit to double-check with yourself... is what I sense MINE, or is it external?
T'Shilah wrote:This is where I need to focus more on the Creator love and light so some things won't upset me so much I can't face what causes them to happen with love and light.
I hope that you and the other members, realize that "love and light" in this context is a metaphor? Ra chose those terms because they were the closest to the concept -- in medieval Latin, that is -- and they do not refer to the common meanings.

Pietas/Lumen,
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Re: Light

Post by Starlight* » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:15 pm

T'Shilah wrote:
I'm seeing more white light as well, on the inner. It's like my whole world has shifted and suddenly I am more in tune. I'm picking up on energy from distances and know what is causing it. Particularly when it has to do with Dave.
LoneBear wrote:Welcome to my world. I know it's fun now, but be warned, it CAN overwhelm you to the point where you cannot distinguish what is yours, from what is other. Make it a habit to double-check with yourself... is what I sense MINE, or is it external?
LoneBear,

How do you stay grounded? Would you explain why this happens?

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Grounding

Post by LoneBear » Thu Jun 30, 2005 6:19 pm

Carmen wrote:How do you stay grounded? Would you explain why this happens?
Grounded, me? The one who's been described as "having his feet firmly planted in the clouds"?

Don't know much about grounding, but I DO know WHO I am, and WHAT I am. Therefore, I can determine those things that I AM NOT. It gets hazy on some occasions, but I can usually figure it out. It was a lot tougher when I was young, and was just figuring out who I was. I remember those times quite well, and I know what is in store for people who are just discovering the ability to sense other-self. My advise there is "know thyself first", then learn of others. If you don't, then you end up with things like co-depencency and unconscious projection or transference of parts of yourself to others -- because you think certain behaviors are yours and not theirs, or vice versa.

The reason it happens is because people are taught from an early age that they must be part of the group -- the group mind function, and that their own uniqueness is unimportant. Even in later life, there are still groups trying to assimilate you into their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of being. And it is much easier to do that, because you don't have to think for yourself -- the group mind takes over. But then, you've moved back to 2nd density, and will have to repeat 3rd. That is how the social memory complex differs from the group mind. The SMC is a collection of individual spirits, whereas the group mind is simply a collection of mind/body complexes, without spirit.

Enter basic telepathic skills, and you can start to sense "other self". Your training towards being a "groupie" kicks in, and you find yourself feeling their emotions unconsciously (group mind function), and your brain kicks in and assumes a lot of this new input is actually from yourself. I've seen people go into wide mood swings, and even get drunk without taking a drink, just because others in the room are intoxicated.

I used to be affected this way, which is why I've avoided the group mindset most of my life. But one day, it just "clicked" (or should I say, "cliqued"?), and I said to myself, "Wait a minute. I'm not like that. Why am I feeling this way?" When I looked around, I found others who WERE feeling that way for a good reason, and I was just picking it up. Then I could distinguish between "self" and "other-self."

I guess there is a lot of meaning in that old saying, "to thine own self be true."

T'Shilah

Re: Grounding

Post by T'Shilah » Mon Jul 11, 2005 6:07 pm

LoneBear wrote:
Carmen wrote:How do you stay grounded? Would you explain why this happens?
Grounded, me? The one who's been described as "having his feet firmly planted in the clouds"?

Bear,

I finally got it about what Dave has been doing when for about the fourth time I started to read what you said about grounding.

His fear of love is so hidden even from himself that he cannot acknowledge it except in his more open moments. He is grounding himself by drawing energy/response from other women everytime we begin to get close. If we share a day of intense love/openness, he immediately finds someone who will respond to a subtle sensual act on his part. He is grounding himself when love feels overwhelming to him.

I realized something else over the weekend. I seem to have an enhanced sense of vibration acknowledgement. Animals love vibrates at a different frequency. I finally felt the vibration of Dave's love and it is not what I thought it was. His vibrates lower than mine.

I never thought love could vibrate at different frequencies before the experiences I had recently. I find that if I lower my vibration to match his, we synchronize and likewise, if I give him direction for raising his we synchronize way better with light and love.

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Re: Light

Post by Alluvion » Tue Jul 12, 2005 12:43 am

Hey t'sh,
i'd like to offer up some info from my perspective about 'love vibrations'. I think that people learn to filter. unconditional love has no filter. Conditional love is filtered, to vibration and frequency, amplitude, etc etc. But all possibilities are there, inside, moving outward and flowing inward at the discretion of the being. wisdom it seems would be the systematic and discerning release/absorption of love. Can you match dave's frequency by recognizing you carry the same vibrational generator? so to speak? perhaps he can discover that he can 'raise up' and match yours with just such an intersection. Its just an idea though.

_A

T'Shilah

Re: Light

Post by T'Shilah » Tue Jul 12, 2005 12:20 pm

Morning Sylph,
i'd like to offer up some info from my perspective about 'love vibrations'. I think that people learn to filter. unconditional love has no filter.


I believe you are right on this. The hardest thing about loving Dave is apparently my desire to love and be loved unconditionally. I realize that conditional love is fleeting. I also realize that in order to BE who I am without compromise, I must love unconditionally. That has always been my natural state when operating from connected to the Creator Positive Polarity.

I am becoming more aware that my need to be loved unconditionally may be a condition because I withdraw when he responds with a negative. Am I too hard on myself and wanting to allow myself to be used or is this correct?
Conditional love is filtered, to vibration and frequency, amplitude, etc etc.


It would seem according to relationship, trust level, commitment level and percieved social expectation as well as many other factors.
But all possibilities are there, inside, moving outward and flowing inward at the discretion of the being.
When unconditionally loving in this density are we actually living in this density or holding ourselves apart? I've been seeing more and more the reason Ra says that if Wanderers came here awakened we could set ourselves up as Gods and Goddesses and rule this planet.

It is so easy to withdraw from the pain of interaction and watch the ants go marching by to the tune of chaos, knowing you could wipe them out with one step rather than take the pain in understanding that they also are feeling pain and intense confusion. I, for some reason, chose to tackle the effects of an anti-social, one who seems to care little about others unless they feed his ego and seems to believe they are there for his use. He also believes that he is responsible only for his actions and if someone takes it (like it is though he denies intent), and they react, that's their problem. He also seems to feel that I am the root cause of all the actions and reactions of others.

How do I work through this? I want to awaken more and I want to fulfill my mission here but I don't quite know how to deal with this situation. I keep loving and am withdrawing less and less and the intensity of actions on his part toward others is less frequent but still exists. How can I show him love enough that he will see when he runs from it so often? Only to come back with wanting it.
wisdom it seems would be the systematic and discerning release/absorption of love.
Is this the answer? Tough love when requested by attitude/action and unconditional love otherwise?
Can you match dave's frequency by recognizing you carry the same vibrational generator? so to speak?perhaps he can discover that he can 'raise up' and match yours with just such an intersection. Its just an idea though.


That's exactly what I've just realized exists. I've discovered I can change my love vibration to match those of other beings and synchronize with them that way.

I showed Dave how to synchronize with me but he finds it difficult to maintain I think. Too much too fast? We were playing guitar and I said we could see love/light coming into us through our heads and from each heart to the other, which by the way seems to create a whole heart energy connected but individual if that makes sense, with a circle of energy that is powerful. The music became beautiful at that point and we could feel and hear it.

I think it makes him afraid to be so close because he hasn't been willing to stop doing things completely, that effect us and me in particular. He still feels a need to hide and he knows I become ultra tuned to him when we are open to each other. I just hope he will see that and correct it. I believe it is subconscious most of the time.

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Re: Light

Post by dbeaman1 » Tue Jul 12, 2005 12:39 pm

If all is truly one, are not all 'others' merely a reflection of ourselves, and therefore, if we change our perceptions, do we not then change the reflection?
oma

T'Shilah

Re: Light

Post by T'Shilah » Tue Jul 12, 2005 4:41 pm

dbeaman1 wrote:If all is truly one, are not all 'others' merely a reflection of ourselves, and therefore, if we change our perceptions, do we not then change the reflection?
That has always been my first impulse but it doesn't work with him which makes me remember that though we are all One, we still all have choice. To me this means that we need to untangle the dreamers from the sheets so they can awaken. Sometimes this means hands on and sometimes it means sending love/light.

I'm really not whining. There are important lessons we need to learn and I am sometimes brought to such an abrupt halt that I feel real agony in our interaction complete with blocks. I know he does too.

The more I look at him with love and light, the more he does to destroy any happiness I feel with icy cruelty either with words or by his sensual interaction with another woman out of the blue. It is not as frequent now but pops up when I least expect it.

I feel that I must need this because it is obviously happening and I do love him though that has turned into a Pavlonian response pattern of feel good then watch out for the results. I work hard at not letting that happen but he is like an eagle looking for an excuse to strike. Which I know is training for me to strengthen my ability to give unconditional love. However I am not here to be a footmat either.

Unfortunately he could easily be diagnosed as anti-social. This shows up in many ways such as taking what belongs to someone else, unless called on it, he doesn't care what that might mean to the other person unless he takes the time to think it through first which could take days. He seems to feel people are here as props for his use, or that I asked for all the negatives, whichever makes it easier on him. He tends to go with the flow or create the flow that feels best to Ego and if not challenged believes that is appropriate. Though again, that is changing. He has begun to think these things out and come up with the Positive more times than not lately. This is because I refused to give up and stood by as an aware and intelligent being that refuses negative. I think there is an important lesson in this but cannot for the life of me figure out what it is other than to distance my emotions and only love as the creator while living in this life. Are we as Wanderers not to experience the love/life of this density in full measure? I wish for him to know the joy of the real love of the Creator/One.

Unless Bear is right and Dave is my mission here. He was extremely (at least 95%) negative polarized (by his own admission) when we met and is becoming more (at least 75%) positive polarized all the time.

Maybe I agreed to help him shift polarity in this life?

I think it would be great to only share love/light on this site but we are here to learn and to grow and that means delving into the more uncomfortable aspects of life here in an effort to understand and help others as well as ourselves.

In my case my biggest hurdle appears to be what comes up in my relationship. I get along with everyone else unless they are playing his games with him. At which point they become secretive and shut me out. One has even gone so far as to return mail addressed to me several times as well as various other efforts to remove me from his life. One even shoved me so I would let her sit by him. His response is that I am overly sensitive to his friends and should let things like that roll off my back, until I really stand firm and confront him with a dose of reality, then he begins to understand that it is not acceptable. Sometimes I need to draw so deeply on the Love/Light of One that I feel I'm being spoken through. Sometimes I tell his guides that if they want me to remain they had better do something with him. Funny thing that! It always happens.

I won't go into any more detail but these are third density situations I have been dealing with here and being in the third density, deal with them I must.

Unfortunately what I am hearing is that many Wanderers are lost due to inability to connect here. The issues that draw us with love also destroy us if we are not aware and operating in the capacity of Channels for the Love/Light of the Creator/One. In fact we seem to be bulls eye targets for negatively polarized people.

The "draw" is usually a mate. If we don't take a stand and really dissect what is happening it is too easy to begin the downward spiral. I lay my life out here as a sacrifice for any who are experiencing these things. Maybe together we can help each other see differently and strengthen our connection with the One. Maybe we can create the peace we need so we can truely be open and clear channels for our Creator.

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Re: Light

Post by dbeaman1 » Tue Jul 12, 2005 8:57 pm

Why do you stay? Perhaps this is a phase you have outgrown? Could it be time to move on, do you think?
oma

T'Shilah

Re: Light

Post by T'Shilah » Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:53 am

dbeaman1 wrote:Why do you stay? Perhaps this is a phase you have outgrown? Could it be time to move on, do you think?
In the past I always did move on. I am beginning to realize through all these recent experiences that I am learning to take control of my life and helping another grow at the same time. I'm also learning unconditional love again. My lesson has been to differentiate between unconditional Creator Love and third density facsimile love. I spiralled down because I finally let third density love become my yardstick and it failed me. I became stuck. Now I am unsticking myself through the pain of love here. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense but it is like a reversal process. I know more now and feel more now. Such as the vibration levels of love and forgiving error of thought here. I am learning to stand up to the onslaught of negative in as safe an environment as possible for the lesson instead of running from it or letting myself be a footmat. I choose to continue that lesson until I get it right so long as Dave is willing to continue with me and is growing as well.

As painful as it has been, as much as it made me feel that life wasn't worth living at times, I am becoming stronger each day. So is Dave in a more positive way.

However, we are at a crossroads in which I can take everything we have been building together and start over in Oregon, leaving him here to keep his job and rebuild his life (which I could help with to some extent financially until we are both in positive positions) or we can make a deeper commitment with all the truth laid out on the table. I feel that conversation is coming soon.

I love him enough to continue and hope we do but it will be up to him to decide whether or not he can really honor the natural and Spiritual laws of commitment and if he really wants to continue to grow in the positive polarity.

My story may be of benefit to others who are experiencing similar lives. Especially to Wanderers who need love and acceptance so much. It isn't about finding love here though that is a wonderful thing, it's about loving ourselves and the Creator enough to stand up and take control of our lives.

I want to let all those Wanderers out there, who read this, know that it is possible and is necessary and that the love we've been seeking is within us.

I learned to confront Dave through all his yelling and anger and negative behaviors and still love him. In fact he didn't start to grow until I had the guts to stand up to him. I thought the relationship would end immediately but it didn't even though I was willing to let it go rather than spiral down any further and still am.

That is the key. This life isn't meant to be a cakewalk. At least not for us. However, we can make it bearable and even blessed depending on what we choose to do with it.

This forum is to help Wanderers do this with all the loving support others in the forum can give. I hope that is what Wanderers reading this will accept. Open up and let it out. I'm being an able and willing example for that.

That is how we can be open and clear channels for the Love/Light we came here to be. That is how we can utilize our special gifts. We need peace here and have to create that, it won't be handed to us. lol that's for sure!

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Re: Light

Post by Alluvion » Wed Jul 13, 2005 1:43 pm

HI T'sh,

it seems as though your relationship with dave is majorly catalytic for you - and thats pretty swell!
A famous buddhist quote is that if your not laughing, your not getting it!

SO as much as you are upset and torn and flung wildly about by your emotions and interactions with dave,
where do you fall back too? where is your center? is your center in faith, with an open door of acceptance?
Or do you stand paused outside that door trying to get others to the same place you are?

Truth is dave will do what dave wants to do and if that hurts you then it hurts you. But you want better for dave
andyou want better for you, the questions are (and not the answers): why? and what are you willing to do to get what you want?

manipulation is such a subtle and clever game, SO tricky - the first thing and the hardest thing to deal with is learning that we are
self-manipulative almost entirely. the path of the spiritual warrior is first within, then without - strength is that force you carry inside
regardless of the hurricane blowing around outside, or even inside - its so deep that it cuts through all the bullshit, all the hysterics
and the endless probing of the imaginative ego and says "alright...this is what my truths are...".

Perhaps I am projecting but I always 'feel' like there's a touch of frustration and inner hysteria when you post about dave.
and thats OK! we all go there and we all have that, the question again is: why? and, what are you going to do to get what you want?



what DO you want, deeply, deeply and simply?


_A

T'Shilah

Re: Light

Post by T'Shilah » Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:20 pm

Lordy, Lordy Sylph, lololololol

Do you realize your full potential as a Wanderer?
WarmSylph wrote:HI T'sh,
it seems as though your relationship with dave is majorly catalytic for you - and thats pretty swell!
A famous buddhist quote is that if your not laughing, your not getting it!
I fully agree. Painful as it may be at times, there is love and willingness to grow.
SO as much as you are upset and torn and flung wildly about by your emotions and interactions with dave,
where do you fall back too? where is your center? is your center in faith, with an open door of acceptance?
Or do you stand paused outside that door trying to get others to the same place you are?
My core is the Creator/Love/Light/Truth. It always is though sometimes I have to remind myself or am reminded by others.
I may waffle during painful times but generally stand inside the door beckoning to others to see and feel the Creator. I feel a connection with the Creator that is so strong I'm overwhelmed at times and it strengthens more each day. I only wish people to see truth love and light. The odd thing to them is that even if they hurt me in the worst ways they can think of, I forgive the error of their thoughts. I accept them anyway as the Creator within them. I may have to distance myself but when they are willing to see, I help them see.
Truth is dave will do what dave wants to do and if that hurts you then it hurts you. But you want better for dave
andyou want better for you, the questions are (and not the answers): why? and what are you willing to do to get what you want?
Because I'm not the only one that wants that. Dave looked at me last night and said "I love you." He then said that he was meditating and realized that he needs to decide what he really desires. His guides asked him that point blank when he was trying to tell them what he wanted.

Talk about the power of thought! We recieved our copy of The Law of One Book One yesterday and he had been reading it.
He said he could see that we were good for each other and that all the things he fought against me for saying were proving true. He said he could see that we were meant for each other and that he accepts that. Talk about synchronicity!!!lol
manipulation is such a subtle and clever game, SO tricky - the first thing and the hardest thing to deal with is learning that we are
self-manipulative almost entirely.
HELLO!! I have seen that in myself and realized why. My higher self is busy moving me in the right direction continually. I know that though some situations are painful, there are lessons and awareness that will come of it.
the path of the spiritual warrior is first within, then without - strength is that force you carry inside
regardless of the hurricane blowing around outside, or even inside - its so deep that it cuts through all the bullshit, all the hysterics
and the endless probing of the imaginative ego and says "alright...this is what my truths are...".
And that is exactly where I found myself several months ago when I said, "No More!"
I had to see myself and Dave and see that we were heading for destruction more than I had to see how much I loved him.
I had to draw on the Creator's energy to do what I did. I was shaken badly by the events of nearly three years and my knees were weak so to speak but my spine shaped up pretty well afterall. lol
Perhaps I am projecting but I always 'feel' like there's a touch of frustration and inner hysteria when you post about dave.
and thats OK!
Yes there has been a bit of frustration, actually outright fury at times because I knew how wrong some things were and they didn't jive with what he was saying. It was a case of if you see it tell yourself you don't. That's pretty much what he told me time and again. So yes the hysteria has been there as well. However, that is toning down and love and light are taking it's place steadily.
we all go there and we all have that, the question again is: why? and, what are you going to do to get what you want?
Because this man has made herculean strides forward in examining himself. He is beginning to show character. His attitudes have shifted and he is beginning to actually see that though he knows much, as he said last night, theory, he has not experienced much of it. Last night he finally acknowledged that I have without being angry at me for it, he was very loving about it.

what DO you want, deeply, deeply and simply?

Amazingly enough that's almost word for word what Dave's guides asked him when he started saying I want.

I personally want peace enough to do what I came here to do. I want an honest relationship or none at all. One with the depth of love and happiness that honesty brings. But most of all I want to be a clear enough channel that the Creator can send light and love through to help others awaken.

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Re: Light

Post by Alluvion » Fri Jul 15, 2005 10:03 am

sounds great!

:)

_A

T'Shilah

Re: Light

Post by T'Shilah » Fri Jul 15, 2005 12:00 pm

WarmSylph wrote:sounds great!

:)

_A
Thanks. Yes, it is getting better by leaps and bounds on a daily basis.

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