Hex Education -- An Analysis of Magick

[joeyv23]

I assure you and encourage you that it is possible and desirable. Understand that you are not really giving anything up. Try not to think of it as a separation but rather as a joining with something else. It is a new beginning! I hope that as you look behind with hindsight that you will see that everything that is the collective is still accessible (and perhaps even more so than before) should you need it.

I always find it interesting when something like this happens... that I had stopped reading Understanding Our Mind last week and when I picked it up again this afternoon, the place I left off was directly in line with what you've shared here.

I really appreciate this and am taking it into deep consideration. As mentioned before, I feel that the resistance is probably due to the nature of the change I've chosen for myself. The choice was made before I assumed this incarnation. I've always known that this was the last time I'd be coming here (in this human expression) - it's just taken some time to come to grips with the scope of what this means and rather than only looking at it as a depressing departure from what has been, to also considering that it's the first step towards, as so aptly stated above, a new beginning.

Actually, you just hit the "pause" button.

I just ran a check, and you're right. Had it been disabled I expect it would have taken a bit more time/energy to reboot.

You were simply overwhelmed by your own intuition (the cosmic side of sensation) and ran out of space on your hard drive. Now you lack the free blocks for normal operation. Time for a Dark Night of the Soul, to upgrade the hardware. (But this time you have the option to do it consciously.)

I finally... FINALLY understand how this will work as a conscious operation. It's almost a silly proposition, thinking about all the things we've gone over in the past few years, things that I could intuit the truth of but still didn't have a grounded context for understanding, and now I get to re-evaluate everything with new eyes.

Still has more change to go. Half way there.

After all, "after 30 years I have come to realize that all we are dealing with is nothing but abstract change in three dimensions." --Dewey Larson

Being able to read this and not feel the same fear or anger that I would have before is really nice. I told Spaceman the night after I booted the driver something that I don't think I could honestly have said since sometime in my adolescence... It actually feels good to be me. And that is--considering everything that I put myself through in order to get here--I'd venture to use the term - miraculous.

[joeyv23]

You were simply overwhelmed by your own intuition (the cosmic side of sensation) and ran out of space on your hard drive. Now you lack the free blocks for normal operation. Time for a Dark Night of the Soul, to upgrade the hardware. (But this time you have the option to do it consciously.)

I finally... FINALLY understand how this will work as a conscious operation. It's almost a silly proposition, thinking about all the things we've gone over in the past few years, things that I could intuit the truth of but still didn't have a grounded context for understanding, and now I get to re-evaluate everything with new eyes.

I thought I'd update here... I went through and did a major system-wide cleanup over the past couple of days. It's amazing how much space is used for projections - both mine on others and others on me. This is where a good majority of the clutter had built up. There are also a few different aspects of myself that I had to organize my mind around that had been burned onto the harddrive. Cleaned that up and lo and behold, internal flow channels are clear! I'll likely be doing secondary and if necessary tertiary cleanups as well but the major one has been completed. I can see how this will work as an active practice, checking for unused and outdated files and cleaning them out as soon as is feasibly necessary. During the process of this update I also re-engaged some abilities that I hadn't made use of in a while. It's quite interesting plugging into the collective unconscious as an energy source. Just here in this city - there's quite a bit of energy just sitting here stuck. I'll be very interested to do the same outside of the city area... the energy store here is vast and can be made use of, but I know that away from the city where there's less psychological/environmental clutter the quality of the energy will be, obviously, cleaner.

[LoneBear]

I finally... FINALLY understand how this will work as a conscious operation.

Rather obvious, once you figure it out, isn't it?

It's quite interesting plugging into the collective unconscious as an energy source. Just here in this city - there's quite a bit of energy just sitting here stuck. I'll be very interested to do the same outside of the city area... the energy store here is vast and can be made use of, but I know that away from the city where there's less psychological/environmental clutter the quality of the energy will be, obviously, cleaner.

The difference is that city energy is strongly yang; Nature is primarily yin. In Nature, yang is supplied by the mountains and yin by the valleys, where people tend to live as that is where food and water are easiest to obtain. Then they build cities and overload the yin valley with a yang city. That relationship causes tension (technically shear strain) in the energy relationship. Tension is pressure--and that is the psychic pressure you feel in the city.

[Ilkka]

Then they build cities and overload the yin valley with a yang city. That relationship causes tension (technically shear strain) in the energy relationship. Tension is pressure--and that is the psychic pressure you feel in the city.

So is this like the thing I thought and tried to explain it in CH forum https://fora.conscioushugs.com/viewtopi ... 6267#p6267 ?
It sure looks that way.

[LoneBear]

So is this like the thing I thought and tried to explain it in CH forum https://fora.conscioushugs.com/viewtopi ... 6267#p6267 ?
It sure looks that way.

Yes, the pattern is similar.

What I have discovered with traumatic stress disorder is that the emotional stress that occurs behaves the SAME as physical stress, but is in time, rather than space. Physical stress effects the body (corpus), like getting punched in the chest. Emotional stress effects the soul (anima). BOTH come from sources outside the mind/body/spirit complex--when someone "stresses you out" they are literally beating up your soul in the cosmic sector.

[Ilkka]

What I have discovered with traumatic stress disorder is that the emotional stress that occurs behaves the SAME as physical stress, but is in time, rather than space. Physical stress effects the body (corpus), like getting punched in the chest. Emotional stress effects the soul (anima). BOTH come from sources outside the mind/body/spirit complex--when someone "stresses you out" they are literally beating up your soul in the cosmic sector.

I see. Then I have taken more than few punches into my soul for quite some time now, because I've been stressed out by some people over time. Some of them being my family members even. However I have trying to be at ease with them and not getting involved into their daily lives. Both of my brothers dont clean their apartments often enough for them to - in my (and many others such as mom and dad) standards - be livable. Trash gets collected on the floors and on tables there are only narrow trails what to use to go from room to room, not to mention any other shit that is stuck on the floor etc. I think you can get the picture if you've seen some "Hoarders" TV show.

My big brothers place is a health risk to even visit in my opinion, little brothers place is very soon the same case. Little brother once said that he needs some "authority figure" for the cleaning of that place as in not any family member but a girlfriend. I think the case of my big brothers is not the same seems to be beyond repair that one.

My place only has abundance of dust, because it just comes so fast. I remember when I was in the army and everyday we cleaned the room we were in and every day the dust was quite much in that relatively small room with about twelve beds.

[sovert]

So is this like the thing I thought and tried to explain it in CH forum https://fora.conscioushugs.com/viewtopi ... 6267#p6267 ?
It sure looks that way.

Yes, the pattern is similar.

What I have discovered with traumatic stress disorder is that the emotional stress that occurs behaves the SAME as physical stress, but is in time, rather than space. Physical stress effects the body (corpus), like getting punched in the chest. Emotional stress effects the soul (anima). BOTH come from sources outside the mind/body/spirit complex--when someone "stresses you out" they are literally beating up your soul in the cosmic sector.

This is interesting in the context of "personal boundaries" or "self protection ". How does this relate to the concept of strong personal boundaries? As I have grown older and more mature, I developed a stronger sense of self and identity, which has buffered against external emotional impositions. However, this seems a different category from another entity beating me up emotionally. In our material sector I would not be able to prevent a mob or gang from beating my physical person, though I might prevent a single entity from abusing me.
This implies that emotional cosmic abuse is either an overwhelming force, or simply a cosmic immaturity which allows such abuse to take place through underdeveloped boundaries.

Thoughts?

[Ilkka]

This implies that emotional cosmic abuse is either an overwhelming force, or simply a cosmic immaturity which allows such abuse to take place through underdeveloped boundaries.

It might be a little bit of both, like the gang of them in material sector would be quite impossible to deal with. I think that one needs to practise "inner martial arts" for self defense in the cosmic sector. Easiest way would be block or dodge the attack and use their momentum for counter attack, like in some martial arts practise, I dont remember which one though.

[joeyv23]

I thought I'd give an update here. It might come as a disappointment to some, but as of today, I've essentially fried out the driver that I installed because I wasn't psychologically able to deal with "becoming what no man has become, before." Some details that I didn't lay out here before... I pretty much did the bare minimum necessary to initiate the shift from human to wizard and while that may have worked (and may yet still work) for someone else, it was never going to work for me with the way I've set myself up. A part of me knew that this would happen and I have another chance later to either install a new driver, or--what feels like the more appropriate thing - given the work necessary to get me there,-- I'll have to write my own, using what was gained from the experience with it over the past weeks.

I found myself overwhelmed and flipping between being comfortable with it and being terrified by it all. Since the door was wide open to the other realm, I was having a lot of attention focused my way and my emotions got the better of me. I realized last night before I put the final nail in the coffin that my ego complex has been used improperly for so long - being an Enneagram 4, I'm disposed towards emotion over reason and I had been effectively making use of the ego as survival mechanism to keep me from dealing with pain for so long - when that large rock was finally rolled out of the way, the stuff behind it that had been sealed away came crashing out. I've spent the last 6 or so years working on aligning my psyche to something in tune with nature, but there's obviously still work to go before I'm capable of being able to maintain existence as more than what I am now. There's trauma in me that I have to deal with and is going to take quite a bit of work still - this trauma is what became the central existence of what I called my Monster from the Id. I didn't have it in me to force that transformation which was/is necessary in order to maintain the open flow between this and the other side. I discovered during the whole ordeal that I lean more on the left hand side of magical interaction and had I not chosen to close the door, I would have become a danger to myself and others. In this way I feel like there's honor in all of this, even if it feels like a disgrace that I had an opportunity such as this and didn't blast through it like some others might. I'm just not that.

I find a tiny part of me does feel remorse for my failure to make this work this time, but at the same time there's relief in me too. I guess I'll take the mindset that each failure is in its own way a success and know what needs to be dealt with from here and go do it. At the very least I know now very well exactly what it is I'm trying to make myself into and can work now to get back to that Castle with it in mind.

This isn't to say that much wasn't accomplished during the time when the driver was running, because it certainly was. The fruits of those efforts will just have to grow now on their own because I can't actively tend the garden... the seeds are in the ground and some sprouted already. Whether they bear fruit or not will be up to Nature as to whether or not they were strong/worthy enough to be born.

Edit to add: If its of any interest to anyone, there's an anime called Magi: The Labryinth of Magic that symbolizes this whole thing quite spectacularly.

[LoneBear]

This is interesting in the context of "personal boundaries" or "self protection ". How does this relate to the concept of strong personal boundaries?

You built a strong fence around your anima's house, so cosmic people could not reach you--no different than building a fence around your material house, to protect yourself and your possessions.

As I have grown older and more mature, I developed a stronger sense of self and identity, which has buffered against external emotional impositions. However, this seems a different category from another entity beating me up emotionally. In our material sector I would not be able to prevent a mob or gang from beating my physical person, though I might prevent a single entity from abusing me.

Now you understand how governments and corporations use fear to manipulate the population--they are the mobs and gangs, assaulting the soul.

This implies that emotional cosmic abuse is either an overwhelming force, or simply a cosmic immaturity which allows such abuse to take place through underdeveloped boundaries.

All of the above; depends where you build your house in the temporal landscape.

[LoneBear]

I've essentially fried out the driver that I installed because I wasn't psychologically able to deal with "becoming what no man has become, before." Some details that I didn't lay out here before... I pretty much did the bare minimum necessary to initiate the shift from human to wizard and while that may have worked (and may yet still work) for someone else, it was never going to work for me with the way I've set myself up.

Nice job of advertising, but not something I'm going to buy... there is nothing wrong with your hardware or software; it is installed and working perfectly. Do you think that Thor and I would NOT know if something was amiss?

There are 5 "best friends" and "worst enemies" on this path... fear, power, knowledge, clarity and old age. The only problem you are having is that you do not want to give up the fear and accept being "powerful" and able to take control of your life and that of others. That is the ONLY problem you currently are having.

You have known nothing but living in fear, your entire life. So yes, NOT living in fear and having power over yourself, others and your environment is a frightening thing--it demands a sense of duty, honor and responsibility: the Code of Chivalry, at one time a very respected and demanding pursuit.

Consider that long talk we had in the park, and ask yourself, "is this really an 'choice'?"

[joeyv23]

Nice job of advertising, but not something I'm going to buy... there is nothing wrong with your hardware or software; it is installed and working perfectly. Do you think that Thor and I would NOT know if something was amiss?

Today (technically yesterday now) at least it feels like I've effectively stopped the process, but I can feel truth in what you're saying, too. The issue (using symbol from the anime I mentioned) is that the vessel is as yet to be an effective conduit for the magical spirit within it. Not my brain necessarily as hardware but my whole body... And/or it's absolutely as you've indicated the fear inherent with the process as I'm going through it created this as a response - another defense mechanism of the ego/shadow. Either way, if it's not broken as I thought/hoped it might be due to the weight of all of this stuff, a part of me is glad but even moreso that I can effectively, as you said, pause the driver to the point that it feels gone. I'm going to have to keep it paused for the next little bit at least until I complete this psychic restructure.

There are 5 "best friends" and "worst enemies" on this path... fear, power, knowledge, clarity and old age. The only problem you are having is that you do not want to give up the fear and accept being "powerful" and able to take control of your life and that of others. That is the ONLY problem you currently are having.

I lack anything to respond with so I'm taking it as an indication of your probably being right.

You have known nothing but living in fear, your entire life.

So yes, NOT living in fear and having power over yourself, others and your environment is a frightening thing--it demands a sense of duty, honor and responsibility: the Code of Chivalry, at one time a very respected and demanding pursuit.

Demanding indeed. I wonder how much of this is me being tested.. If I tried to break the connection because of chivalric code and it's still there,.. I suppose I can it as a positive sign.

Consider that long talk we had in the park, and ask yourself, "is this really an 'choice'?"

That's no longer a question in my mind because I know I've already made the choice. I guess I'm just really good at fighting myself. I feel like pumping the brakes until I get a better handle on things is probably the wise thing to do. When control is regained, I'll ease off the brakes and get back into the throttle.

Edit to add:
I see how pumping the brakes is that fear thing. Because the option I wasn't considering was using this drive/driver to knock down the wall that has/is me wanting to hold onto fear.

And thanks, again.

[LoneBear]

I'm going to have to keep it paused for the next little bit at least until I complete this psychic restructure.

Just remember that the flow does not stop... "pause" will cause a back-pressure that will come pouring through when you hit "play." Heed these words of wisdom... don't pause too long.

There are 5 "best friends" and "worst enemies" on this path... fear, power, knowledge, clarity and old age. The only problem you are having is that you do not want to give up the fear and accept being "powerful" and able to take control of your life and that of others. That is the ONLY problem you currently are having.

I lack anything to respond with so I'm taking it as an indication of your probably being right.

The "fear of success" is one of the biggest fears your generation has. Now you have the tools for success.

Demanding indeed. I wonder how much of this is me being tested.. If I tried to break the connection because of chivalric code and it's still there,.. I suppose I can it as a positive sign.

Let me make it "more challenging" (worse) for you... the number of man is 5. 5 fingers, 5 toes, 5 limbs... and 5 levels of "nonlocal" connectivity:

1. Personal, what is you and yours.
2. Familial, your genetic family and soul group.
3. Cultural, your heritage through your genetic/body line, and transmigration of soul.
4. Social, the archetypes and collectives you participate in.
5. Species, the genetically-enhanced chimpanzee, custom designed by the Annuna--and ALL the genetic (both material and cosmic) components that went into that construction.

These are in layers, like the skin of an onion. Each layer affects the adjacent ones. So what would be the next layer affected, if a "person" turns from muggle to wizard? And how would that layer be effected?

I see how pumping the brakes is that fear thing. Because the option I wasn't considering was using this drive/driver to knock down the wall that has/is me wanting to hold onto fear.

Funny thing is that you're pumping the brakes on a rocket, expecting to leave skid marks in the atmosphere.

[Andrew]

Without quoting, the last three posts are the most "based" things I've seen in a while. I've been wanting to share, Joey, something that would be of interest to you. It's the transit of the Black Moon. The way to understand it is through a story, which I include here. Basically, when ((your)) Black Moon is activated, you undergo an extensive period of death and rebirth. These periods, personally speaking, suck. The first half is like, nothing seems right, you're deserted and lost, and you're emotionally dismal. But if you read the story, and understand the process, you have something to hope for.

If I'm not mistaken you are of the sun sign Gemini. The Black Moon is exiting Sagittarius soon. When it comes to Black Moon activation, the opposite sign is activated as well (just like any moon or planet is activated in conjunction or opposition.) Sagittarius is opposite Gemini. Sagis, Gems and native Black Moons (see book) have been taking the full frontal of rebirth for the past 2-3 months since its been activated. (I am still learning how to decipher when this period begins and ends. Please visit the link above to get the full meaning. The bottom portion will show where your Black Moon is and what it means = your deepest shadow/fear.) But basically, you dive into the depths of your unconscious for the first half and receive the gold/rebirth on your way back up to the light. Something I think you have achieved during the past month.

Note: when the Black Moon phase is activated, everyone undergoes this death/rebirth process, but the ones directly aspected with the sign it begins in feel it the greatest/receive the most of its transformational power.

[joeyv23]

Just remember that the flow does not stop... "pause" will cause a back-pressure that will come pouring through when you hit "play." Heed these words of wisdom... don't pause too long.

It's unpaused and fully functioning. The night that I flipped the switch back to --On--, I reunited with the part of me that was separated several years ago when I was put under in order to donate bone marrow. Still in the process of integrating this... It's strange having a piece of you that went off on a journey and then found its way home after 6 years. That part of me is adapting to the changes I've made in that time and I'm doing the same for integrating what it... I... experienced.

The "fear of success" is one of the biggest fears your generation has. Now you have the tools for success.

Do I ever... a big portion of what I'd been missing is coming back to me through an in-depth study of a certain group/cabal dedicated to the Left Hand Path (and not the Crowley/LaVey/Goth-Satanist propaganda.) I understand now quite well how the people in high ranking positions in business and politics are as ridiculously successful as they are.

Let me make it "more challenging" (worse) for you... the number of man is 5. 5 fingers, 5 toes, 5 limbs... and 5 levels of "nonlocal" connectivity:

1. Personal, what is you and yours.
2. Familial, your genetic family and soul group.
3. Cultural, your heritage through your genetic/body line, and transmigration of soul.
4. Social, the archetypes and collectives you participate in.
5. Species, the genetically-enhanced chimpanzee, custom designed by the Annuna--and ALL the genetic (both material and cosmic) components that went into that construction.

These are in layers, like the skin of an onion. Each layer affects the adjacent ones. So what would be the next layer affected, if a "person" turns from muggle to wizard? And how would that layer be effected?

This has, without a doubt, begun to manifest.

To item 1, Familial -- Bro, when you get here... I've always known you had the spark for this in you. I expect it might be worth your while to create a profile on here so you can begin digging in. The more you get involved with the fora, the more that becomes available to you. I haven't told you or the family about the experiences I had when I moved away from home, but they're posted here in private fora. You'll definitely want to see what went down that marked the beginning of this phase of the journey. And I'll definitely be looking forward to seeing you share some of the experiences you've had since we started getting into all of this. I'm sure the folks here will too. I know we identified with Ed and Al for a reason, and thinking about it now... it's actually kind of crazy (but really not) how applicable all of that is for us.. with the exception of not having had to bind you to a suit of armor Funny how they resemble us too, no?

To item 2, Cultural -- After many years of trying, I've recently been able to make headway into my patrilineal genealogy and wouldn't you know it... one of my great-great grandfathers, no shit, was named Harry Potter. My grandfather was named after him. And get this... he died on June 2 - the day I was born 30 years later. Being able to finally trace these genetic lines is remarkably fulfilling and indicative to me of there being much more going on than I could have possibly considered before.

Funny thing is that you're pumping the brakes on a rocket, expecting to leave skid marks in the atmosphere.

Reverse thrusters were wholly ineffective as well.

[Andrew]

I am posting here an archive of Occult Magick documentation and research that may be of use to the avid investigator, or in my eye, one who is up at 4 am looking for something to read about on the subject. It is rather large and eclectic and some of it only in German, but I'd rather document the archive here than ignore it and lose potential "puzzle pieces" for those investigators that are liken to browse its contents in pursuit of accomplishing and contributing to the Great Work.

There was a good pdf I was reading last night about the History of Nordic Magick in the Middle Ages that was only serving to enhance my belief of magick, since it shreds even further subconscious doubts of magick being possible.. but I can't locate it atm. Follow your interests and bliss if you seek direction through this catalogue of information, and may it guide you to fulfillment.

[LoneBear]

I am posting here an archive of Occult Magick documentation and research that may be of use to the avid investigator...

Good collection. You should add the missing ones to the Antiquatis library, for historical reference.

Unfortunately, with the increasing phase differential now going on between the Realms, these techniques are all starting to fail. Already showing up in the breakdown of clairvoyant and clairaudient connections--channelers are getting "out of tune" with their channel.

As you may already be aware, this "phase differential" that symbolically appears as a widening chasm (an Abyss) between the Realms (this Realm and the "Other" Realm, the Altermundi) and was initiated by the L-Ms, for reasons not revealed. It may be a natural process that was triggered earlier than Nature would have done, much like the situation in Atlantis that fired off a planetary expansion event causing the fall of their Empire.

However, enough data is now becoming available that one can start to postulate outcomes, based on "natural consequence" of the changes. MOST interesting... to quote Prof. Barnhardt from the 1951 film, The Day the Earth Stood Still after Klaatu's global stunt, "What a brilliant idea. I never would have thought of it."

Too much to discuss here and most is still speculation. But perhaps it would be an interesting direction for that next --daniel paper to go--except it would need a new title, as "RETURN of the Wizards" would be technically incorrect... the old Wizards will soon be powerless, but there is a Path opening up to something brand new, not yet experienced by mankind. More of a "Wizards--TNG," but that really doesn't fit the Star Wars motif of the prior papers.